Friday Fun – A Retiree’s Last Trip To Kroger
January 18, 2013
Nancy sent this in and it made me giggle…so I thought I’d offer up some Friday fun 
A RETIREE’S LAST TRIP TO KROGER
Yesterday I was at my local Kroger buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Maggie, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Kroger won’t let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Thanks Nancy!!
OH MY GOODNESS!!!! That is too funny! I wish I had been there to hear it first-hand! Nancy you ain’t right, girl! Rolling over here! Thank you for the laugh. That goes to show you that you have no idea what you will see on a couponing board! Thank you Michelle for sharing this!
Oh Nancy, I just died laughing! Thank you for sharing your story and for having such a great attitude. Keep smiling and telling stories…if I were the manager at this Kroger, I’d have probably asked to hire you on the spot to be one of my cashiers because of your spirit!
God bless, and keep smiling!
That was great Nancy!
Ha. Loved it.
Nancy, that was GREAT……being a RETIREE it makes it that more funny. Sometimes you just have to roll with the humor when it hits ya, right? Thanks so much for sharing. HAPPY COUPONING!!!
Hilarious! Love this! Go Nancy!
Nancy when I saw the title I could not really imagine what the story would be, but I must tell you that you have started my day of with a smile – a HUGE one!! Thanks for writing in and to Michelle for putting it up for us!
It truly sounds like something I would say. I am amazed at the inane things people say to you on occasion and sometimes I just want to come back with something like you did.
“What, did she think I had an elephant?”
LOL LOL LOL …nobody had better say anything stupid to me today when I am in line stocking up on cat food….
I saw this on Facebook about 6 months ago told by someone else.
even if it was on Facebook 6 months ago from someone else – IT’S STILL FUNNY!!! That is a great way to start a Friday – a good laugh! I needed that – especially since 2 of my 3 kids are sick and it looks to be a dreaded day!
Thanks for sharing!
That was awesome. Thanks for the morning laugh.
This is soooo funny. I was a bit worried that the woman will believe the story and start the diet or recommend it to other people. That would be crazy